Stealing Doug's Post and I Don't Care

I realize most of you follow Doug Fields blog, or you should if you don't.  Here is a blatant, stealing copy of his post for the day.  100% of this is Doug Fields writing, I take no credit whatsover.  You can read it at his site as well at www.dougfields.com.  This is rock solid stuff.  How are you doing with this as a leader?

7 ways to VALUE others you work with and/or lead

June 29, 2011 By doug 1 Comment

I had lunch today with a long-term youth ministry friend who is struggling at his church. Long story short, he doesn’t feel valued.Sadly, this friend isn’t alone.

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about this concept of value. Value is so very important to the health of individuals and the success of organizations/ministries! It’s been my belief that most people don’t leave ministries, they leave leaders. Typically, they leave leaders who don’t express value.

If you’re a senior pastor, a boss, a ministry leader, someone who oversees volunteers, or simply a human being who wants to be better at valuing others, here are 7 specific ways to value others.

1. Genuinely care for more than what they can offer you and/or your organization
Many leaders view at people as assets. They relate to people in terms of “what they do for me.” While it may be natural and typical for an employee/employer relationship, it’s not beneficial. Value is communicated when you genuinely care for people as human beings and not human doings (and what they can do for you to help you build your kingdom).

2. Give feedback
As a leader, your constructive feedback is vital to an individual feeling valued. Most followers are desperate for validation and they want to be recognized for their contribution. They’ll follow, work and give their heart if they feel like they’re following someone who cares enough about them to give them feedback about their contribution. When you take the time to give specific feedback (even if it’s occasional negative/constructive), you are adding to their personal sense of value. It’s not unusual for a person to work for, serve, volunteer years of service and not get any specific and personal feedback from their “boss”…it’s not unusual, but it’s definitely tragic.

3. Affirm, affirm, affirm
This should go without saying, and unfortunately, many times it does. I know leaders will say, “He knows he’s important to me.” Really? When was the last time you told him? It ought to be often! This is such a basic principle that it’s almost embarrassing to write, but I find it so rare in leaders that it’s worth mentioning and repeating.

4. Take interest in their interests
I have a friend who has worked for and traveled with his boss for several years and his boss never asks him personal questions. My friend said, “You’ve asked me more about myself during this lunch than he’s (my boss) asked me in 5 years.” Sad. If I know you’re interested in me, and I know you care (see #1), then I know that I’m more than a pawn in your strategy to move forward. Your interest beyond “the job” communicates value.

5. Do the “little things”
The people who work for and/or serve you (or your ministry) have real lives outside of the “job”. When you acknowledge that reality you communicate value. It’s the little things that send a big message: a card on their birthday, remembering their kids’ names, sending the spouse a gift (flowers or gift certificate) when you’ve asked ‘above and beyond’ from their spouse, an invite to share a meal with no-agenda, an occasional “I appreciate you” letter/gift, etc… Little actions are a big deal!

6. Give them access to your life
All of these ideas communicate something more than an employer/employee relationship. Typically, those who follow you, if they feel cared for by you will also want to spend time with you away from the office/ministry. When you do life with others and invite them into “your world” you once again communicate that life is more than simply working on “your agenda.” Whether it’s sharing meals together, going jogging together, watching TV or sporting events together…the key word is “together” and it screams, “I value you and our relationship.”

7. Make efforts to maximize strengths
Great leaders are always looking to develop others. Selfish leaders look to people to better develop, enhance or promote themselves. You make a huge statement of value when you seek to maximize the skills, gifting and strengths of the individual you are leading. The spoken and unspoken question is, “How can I help you maximize your gifts so you’re most satisfied?” The answer to that question may lead to a place where you lose that person’s service to you. While that reality may not be the best result for you, it’s the best for the individual—and that’s the essence of value.

Many leaders are self-focused.
Many leaders use people.
Many leaders build their kingdom at the expense of others.

Don’t be that type of leader!
Value others and enjoy the benefits of being around people who feel valuable.
Don’t just say you value others—show it!

Pass this on! Everyone can use a little help here. I know people who are dying for value!

What do you think? Thoughts? Comments? Corrections? Questions?

Need Leaders? Roll the Dice and Let God Pick 'Em! (new blog post)

This morning I was reading in 1 Chronicles 24 and 25. (How's that for a devo throw down?  I read Chronicles, what do you read?  John?  Pssshhh!)  Anyway, David is appointing the pastors for the Temple, and this weird little detail creeps in.  When they are choosing who will do what, they don't use a personality test, check for who has the degree from the best seminary, or even ask who has the most experience.  They cast lots for all of it.  You know about casting lots, it's the Biblical roll of the dice.  They put the whole thing back in God's lap in a way that risks it all.  Either God controls the roll of the lots, or the Temple will be a mess. 

I'm not advocating tossing dice as leadership development.  But, what is our equivalent?  When we need to provide leadership to one of our ministries, how much do we take on ourselves, and simply ask God to bless it after we make the decision?  How could we change our methods so that we HAVE to depend on God to show up, or we will be dead?  No, seriously, what would that look like?  How would we "cast lots" to find out who to place where in our ministries?

I'm not sure I have answers, but I am going to think on it.  I'd love to hear what all of you think might work.

Killing the Man with 12 Fingers - Lessons in Leadership (new blog post)

Leadership is such a hot topic, and there are a million books, seminars, videos, and ideas out there devoted to how to be a better leader.  That alone should point to the fact there there is no simple way to become a great leader, and there is no blueprint that works for all people.

But I do think there are basic principles most people agree on, even though many of us don't intentionally work on them.  One of the biggest is "Lead by example".  Don't ask people to do what you won't do yourself.

David, as in King David of OT Fame, had a lot of issues, to be sure.  But overall, he was a good leader.  There are a few verses in 1 Chronicles 20 (yeah, people actually read Chronicles) that point this out.

"4 In the course of time, war broke out with the Philistines, at Gezer. At that time Sibbekai the Hushathite killed Sippai, one of the descendants of the Rephaites, and the Philistines were subjugated.
5 In another battle with the Philistines, Elhanan son of Jair killed Lahmi the brother of Goliath the Gittite, who had a spear with a shaft like a weaver’s rod. 6 In still another battle, which took place at Gath, there was a huge man with six fingers on each hand and six toes on each foot—twenty-four in all. He also was descended from Rapha.
7 When he taunted Israel, Jonathan son of Shimea, David’s brother, killed him.
8 These were descendants of Rapha in Gath, and they fell at the hands of David and his men."

Ok, so you're like "What in the world are you talking about?!"  I know, there are a lot of dudes with funky names from the lands of Termite in there.  But dig a little deeper.  This is a story about King David's men (Sibbekai, Elhanan, and Jonathan) fighting against the Philistines.  Remember the most famous Philistine?  Yep, Goliath.  Before Goliath took his permanent nap at David's feet, they OWNED the Israelites.  The Jews couldn't stop them for anything.  But young Dave dropped Goliath and changed all of that.  Now, here, his men are picking off giant Philistines in the regular course of battle.  I mean, one of the guys that died had 24 fingers and toes!  And He still went down in a heap.

It is such a marked turn of attitude and action for the Jews.  David leads the way, and over time, the whole army begins to believe that they CAN beat the Philistines, the force of evil in their life.


What is the Philistine army at your church?  No, not the elder board.  What is Satan using to stop your ministry, what stops your leaders in their tracks?  Are you willing to fight it out and work through that issue first?  Are your leaders weak in evangelism?  Then how are you modeling it?  Do your students ignore new guests?  Then what are you doing to welcome them personally when they show up, and how are you mentoring new leaders in that process?  Do you need teachers?  Then are you modeling that God has called multiple people to teach, or do you hold a little too tightly to that mic so that no one else can get near it?  David killed the first giant, and proved it could be done.  A lot more giants fell in the years that followed.  It set the whole nation free.


So, what are your giants?  Don't blame your students or your volunteer staff.  God has given you a sling and a few stones.  Go show how it's done, and then later begin teaching slingshot classes.  Lead.  Today.

The Senior Pastor / Youth Pastor Relationship: Lead Up

Here's the third point of our Senior Pastor / Youth Pastor series of discussions.

You need to lead up.

The idea is from a talk Bill Hybels used to give at Willow Creek, and it transformed my understanding of my leadership role.  I had a top down approach to leadership.  My pastor was boss, he lead me.  Each staff member had a ranking of who was over who, and each lead the next, either officially or unofficially.  Then each ministry had it's volunteers, and the staff member lead them.  So I was always trying to figure out where I was on the totem pole with each staff change, and would honestly jockey for better spots depending on the season of ministry I was in.

Then Bill helped me see that servant leadership is 360 degrees, not top down.  It's my job to be a servant leader for my volunteers.  Provide direction, encourage, educate about our roles, pray for them, and help them succeed.  I wasn't always good at it, but I understood the concept.

Then he pushed me to see that I had to play the same roles with my peers on staff.  I wasn't the worship pastor's boss, I wasn't the small groups pastor's supervisor, but I had a responsibility to provide servant leadership for them.  I needed to provide direction, encourage, educate about our roles, pray for them, and help them succeed.  I needed to share where we were going as a ministry, and work with them to join with where God had them going.  We weren't parallel silo's a the church.  We were a family, pushing together in one direction.

The big challenge for me though, was not just to lead "down" to my volunteers, not just to lead "sideways" to the other pastor's on our staff, but to lead "up" to my senior pastor.  With him as well I need to provide direction, encourage, educate about our roles, pray for him, and help him succeed.  The direction I provide comes in the way of communication about what God is doing in our ministry, how the church is winning the battle for the hearts and minds of families, where my leaders are growing in their faith, and tie it all back into the bigger picture of the church at large.  He has SO much on his desk in a given day, he doesn't always have time to look for what God is doing around the church.  As I communicate that to him (email, casual conversations, etc.) it helps him do his job better.  I'm not leading him in the sense of telling him what to do, or trying to steer him in a direction favorable to me.  Those are NOT my roles.  But I am providing a easy window for him to see where God is at work beyond his daily responsibilities.  It's servant leadership.  And when I make changes to my ministry direction, I try to communicate it AHEAD of time with him in a clear, positive way so that he knows what is going on BEFORE everyone else knows.  That way he isn't caught off guard and left wondering what is going on.

So, whatever your age or position, lead 360 degrees from a servant's heart.  It communicates family, trust, love, encouragement, and support.  And what senior pastor couldn't use a little more of those?

Out of Focus and Starving

We did the 30 Hour Famine this weekend.  I've done it for the last 15 years.  I've gotta be honest; I didn't want to do it this year.  The week leading up to it, I wanted to cancel it.  I just was tired, and didn't want the work of it, and I didn't want to starve for 30 hours....again.  I hoped school would be canceled from the snow on Friday, so I could justify canceling the event. 

I know, I know, World Vision needs the money.  Starving children need the money.  I know.  I'm just that selfish sometimes. 

I also knew God wouldn't let me out of it.

He didn't.

So we did the famine, and as always, it was amazing.  Not only did a lot of students experience hunger and loss, and not only did they raise a TON of money to help, and not only did they get to experience real service in real time, but God was so generous to us.  He showed us His love, His encouragement, His grace, and moved us for His children around the world.

No surprise.

He does it every year.

So why, as a veteran leader, who knows all of this, did I want to cancel it?  I lost focus.

I can easily believe that the ministry is about me.  Don't misunderstand, I would NEVER say that out loud, but that doesn't mean it isn't true.  When I am more worried about how I feel, about what would be easier for me, when I think things like "I've done this 15 times, it won't hurt if we skip #16", I have lost focus.  It happens all the time to leaders.  It happens to you. 

It doesn't mean you're a failure or a horrible leader.  It is what it is; you've stopped looking at the right thing, and you've chosen to look at the wrong thing.  You've lost focus.  While it's normal, it's highly destructive.  As leader's we need to be aware of our driving emotions and beliefs.  The ministry isn't about us.  It's not about the kids.  It's about God.  He is our focus.  What does He want us to do today?  We need to be about it, 100%.  Then we open ourselves up, and our students up, to His work in our lives.  Then the ministry becomes ... well ... a ministry.

Where have you lost focus lately?  What do you need to do to refocus?

Great Insights for Anyone Who Teaches Students

Here is a summarized list of teaching tips.  It came from the Orange Leaders blog, who got it from Made to Stick by Chip and Dan Heath.  Really good stuff:

TOP TEN list of IDEAS worth REMEMBERING
1. Find the core—“There has to be message triage. If you say three things, you don’t say anything.”
2. The power of analogies—substitute something familiar to accelerate learning about something difficult.
3. Grab their attention– break a predictable pattern, plan an interesting surprise or give them a mystery to solve.
4. The Curse of Knowledge makes it hard for us to remember what it’s like not to know something.
5. Create a common language by providing a concrete experience that puts everyone in the same playing field.
6. Details are important because they boost the credibility of what you’re trying to say.
7. Context matters because the easiest way to make people care is to show the relationship between something they don’t yet care
about and something they do.
8. Don’t focus on the features; stress the tangible benefits—what’s in it for them right now.
9. Stories are powerful “edutainment” because they provide knowledge on how to act and motivation to take action.
10. If you get stuck on how to make your message really stick, look around and learn from one that’s not only stuck but is spreading.

Making Changes and Blaming God

I threw the blame at God, and it wasn't fair.  It just wasn't.  I would feel like it was time to move on, to make a change in a program, to do something different, and I would use God as my reason.  I so desparately wanted to know God, and to love God, and to be in His hands.  I really did, I promise.  But sometimes my understanding of God put me in a spot to say things that were unfair.

Here's a prime example.  Over the last 20 years, I've worked at three different churches.  I was at my first one in Welcome, NC for 2 1/2 years.  I was at my second one in Schaumburg, IL for 6 years.  I've been here at this church in Shelbyville, IN for almost 10 years.  When I started sensing that things were not going well with our spot in NC, we prayed about it, and felt like it was best if we left, for a host of reasons.  So, we prayerfully began looking and contacting churches, eventually were offered a job in Chicago, and we took it.  When we explained to our students why we were leaving, we gently tried to help them see that God was moving us on, that He was good, and it would all be okay.  We didn't want to leave them, but we needed to be obedient, and because God was clearly telling us to go, we were going to listen and go.

When we left Chicago, it was a little different.  We weren't looking to leave at that time, but through a series of events, we were contacted by a church we had applied to almost a year earlier, and after several meetings, felt like we should go.  We gave our students the same answer.  We love you guys, we aren't sure why God is calling us on, but we feel like it's what we are supposed to do, and so we are leaving.  God will take care of us and you.  It will all be alright.

And honestly, it has.  One of my former students replaced me in NC and has done an AMAZING job at the church. (Go Jon Goodman!)  The church in Schaumburg eventually hired a guy, Nat Bodham, who is one of the greatest gifts to that church ever.  We love where we are now, and have been blessed beyond words by being here.  So, what's the issue?

As I've thought through all of this, and gotten to know God better, I have realized I used God as my scapegoat.  I do think He opened doors for us to go, and He blessed the churches when we left.  Out of His grace.  But, we moved predominantly because we wanted to.  We loved our kids, but other issues were moving us on.  The moves were good and healthy, and for various reasons necessary.  But I wasn't completely honest with people.  I simply dumped the blame on God.  And God, in His magnificent silence and grace, took the blow for me.

I've learned that God blesses us when we are obedient, and in His power gives us choices.  We could have stayed in NC and toughed it out.  God would have blessed us.  We could have stayed in Chicago.  God would have blessed us.  We had options and choices before us.  God wasn't forcing our hand.  But we acted and spoke like He was.

Sometimes, God does command us to go, to move, to run, to do something, and we are perfectly legit if we call it what it is.  But WAY too often, we use the "God's call on my life" as a convenient excuse and cover story.  Honestly, we need to stop.  It doesn't represent God honestly, and often can cause a student to see God as cruel in what He is doing.  We save our reputation, and smear God's.  I don't think it's supposed to work that way, is it?  Let's be honest about the "Why?" questions as much as we can appropriately be, and let's let God off the hook for our choices.  Just a thought.