Out of Focus and Starving

We did the 30 Hour Famine this weekend.  I've done it for the last 15 years.  I've gotta be honest; I didn't want to do it this year.  The week leading up to it, I wanted to cancel it.  I just was tired, and didn't want the work of it, and I didn't want to starve for 30 hours....again.  I hoped school would be canceled from the snow on Friday, so I could justify canceling the event. 

I know, I know, World Vision needs the money.  Starving children need the money.  I know.  I'm just that selfish sometimes. 

I also knew God wouldn't let me out of it.

He didn't.

So we did the famine, and as always, it was amazing.  Not only did a lot of students experience hunger and loss, and not only did they raise a TON of money to help, and not only did they get to experience real service in real time, but God was so generous to us.  He showed us His love, His encouragement, His grace, and moved us for His children around the world.

No surprise.

He does it every year.

So why, as a veteran leader, who knows all of this, did I want to cancel it?  I lost focus.

I can easily believe that the ministry is about me.  Don't misunderstand, I would NEVER say that out loud, but that doesn't mean it isn't true.  When I am more worried about how I feel, about what would be easier for me, when I think things like "I've done this 15 times, it won't hurt if we skip #16", I have lost focus.  It happens all the time to leaders.  It happens to you. 

It doesn't mean you're a failure or a horrible leader.  It is what it is; you've stopped looking at the right thing, and you've chosen to look at the wrong thing.  You've lost focus.  While it's normal, it's highly destructive.  As leader's we need to be aware of our driving emotions and beliefs.  The ministry isn't about us.  It's not about the kids.  It's about God.  He is our focus.  What does He want us to do today?  We need to be about it, 100%.  Then we open ourselves up, and our students up, to His work in our lives.  Then the ministry becomes ... well ... a ministry.

Where have you lost focus lately?  What do you need to do to refocus?