Parents as Leaders - How to Make it Work?

In the first post, we discussed why we need to recruit parents.  Today, I want to talk about how we do it.

One of the big things to recognize is that you need an open ministry.  We need to have ministries that are always open to parents, and encourage them to come, see, and be involved.  We can only support what they are doing in the faith formation of their kids.  They need to see and experience first hand what is going on in our ministries.  This doesn't mean that every parent should be a small group leader, or a teacher.  But they should be welcome at some level.

The challenge is to prayerfully figure out where.  Some parents are great leaders.  They don't need to be crazy, or loud, or even extroverts.  One of my very best small group leaders is a guy who is a quiet, introverted, financial accountant.  He is amazing with his guys.  He is consistent, he loves them deeply, and he listens so well.  They think he's great!  I do to.  My point is God uses all of us, regardless of age, personality, or gift mix.  Find the right role for the right people, and your ministry will flourish.

Setting guidelines for parents as leaders is crucial as well.  One rule we have is that a parent can't be the group leader for their own kid.  This gives the student a place to be without worrying about what their mom or dad think about them.  Everyone needs a voice outside of their family to speak truth into them.  It also lets the parents interact with students who give them a fair chance, which sometimes their own children may not do.  It's a win-win.

We don't let parents be parents at group.  What I mean is, we are clear in our expectation that they are there to work with other kids, not monitor their own.  If they cross this line, I speak to them about it.  If the students cross this line, I'll speak with them.  Obviously everyone in the group knows which leader is which student's parents.  But we expect them to deal with their family issues outside of youth group, and we make that abundantly clear.

It often takes quite a while to recruit parents into the ministry.  Usually it takes me 7 - 8 discussions with them before they will seriously consider it.  Once they decide they might be interested, I always go to their children and discuss it with them.  I'll talk with everyone about what their fears are, I'll explain what the benefits are for everyone, and then encourage them to give it a try.  The students always have a veto power in the deal.  I won't force a student to let their parents serve.  Sometimes they are reluctant, but we are batting 100% so far, as far as students getting comfortable with their parents around.

I really believe if you put in a place a plan on who to recruit, how to recruit, and how to monitor the relationships, parents are some of the very best leaders we can find.  The only ones better are grandparents.  Yeah, I said it.  Grandparents are the very, very best youth leaders around.  But that's another discussion.

Let me know what you think, and if you have specific questions on how to make this all work, let me know.  I'd love to help.