The Senior Pastor / Youth Pastor Relationship: Don't Make God Torch You

Sometimes the relationship between a youth pastor and a senior pastor can be a tricky tightrope to walk.  There have been dozens of articles and books written on this already.  But yet, it continues to be tough spot to be in.

From the senior pastor side, they have a ton of responsibility on their shoulders.  They have to do ministry, and be something of a CEO/manager position.  They aren't trained for it, and honestly most aren't hard wired for it.  They became pastors to work with people and teach God's good news, not manage staff meetings and juggle budgets, building issues, and counsel everyone in town.  It's a tough gig, and they often feel somewhat alone in their role.

Youth pastors are in a tough spot as well.  They are often seen as "almost" a pastor, the person on staff who either hasn't quite yet made it, or doesn't quite have what it takes.  They can get blame for everything that goes wrong in a building, and seem to be trying to manage ministries that are under attack from every other organization on the planet (school calendars, sport teams, teens jobs, family events, etc.)  They often find themselves stuck between the world of adults (not quite yet) and teens (a little too far past).  It's tough.

So, as youth leaders, what can we do to navigate this issue?

I've had the privilege of working for three pastors over the last twenty years.  The men I've worked with and for have loved Jesus, loved the church, and supported me to the best of their ability.  My current pastor and I have worked side by side for a decade, and I love and respect him like crazy.  I thought maybe I'd throw out some of the lessons I've learned over that time.  If you can take one or two of my mistakes, and avoid repeating them, then it's all worth it.

Lesson #1 - God gave them their job.

If you are in a church that loves Jesus, and tries to follow Him at some level, then you can rest assured that God has put your pastor in the role he is in.  Yeah, your pastor has faults and weaknesses.  I know.  You can list them out quickly, precisely, and with footnotes.

That's the problem.

You're disrespecting the man / woman that God has appointed over the church.

Stop it.

I'm not saying you need to swing the pendulum and worship the senior pastor, or put them on a pedestal.  It's the exact opposite.  You need to do away with the pedestal all together.  You're judging them by a standard that isn't fair, and you're forgetting God's wisdom and plan in all of this.  Your pastor is in the role they are in so that they can grow, love God more, and be used by Him to confound the wise in this world.  They don't measure up to your expectations, but your expectations are likely unfair.  At times I have judged my senior pastor by standards I myself would never want to live up to.  I justified it by saying "But they're the senior pastor.  They are supposed to be so much more that I'm supposed to be."  That's incorrect, unfair, and a lie.

Now, if you're in a church where the church isn't chasing after Jesus, but is just coasting as a social club, you have deeper issues than that of your relationship with your pastor.  These articles may not apply to you, but you definitely need to talk.  Contact any of us on this blog, and let's talk about where you're at.

But if your church wants to follow Jesus, and your pastor is trying to live a life of obedience, then get over yourself.

Read Numbers 16 where people come and complain about Moses.  God doesn't put up with it.  He burns the 250 dissenting staff members alive.  Literally.  Don't go there.

Support your pastor.  Pray for them.  Fight the thoughts between your ears.  Don't dwell on negatives, and don't allow stupid, unfair expectations and idealism cause you to complain about your leader.  Love them, show them grace, cheer for them, and support them.  All the time.

God calls us to it.

Tomorrow, we'll look at some more pieces of this relationship between senior pastors and youth pastors.