Resistance is NOT futile!

I've been a junkie for brain development studies for about 4-5 years now. It all started with Barbara Strauch's book "The Primal Teen" and has evolved into a slight obsession with related articles and blog posts. Not exactly the light, fun reading one finds in "Boy's Life," "Brio," or "Obscure Sports Quarterly" but still really cool and only slightly dorky!

As youthworkers, it's our responsibility to stay on top of the latest findings concerning teenagers' brains. If we're going to help them learn to love God with all their heart, soul, mind and strength, it's vital that we tune into what neurologists are discovering.

Adolescent Brain Development Tied to Resisting Peer Pressure

The article linked above talks about teens' ability to resist peer pressure. We tend to get discouraged by the increasing amount of peer pressure students face beginning when they enter middle school. However, we can also be encouraged that even as peer pressure increases, so does teens' ability to resist that very same pressure!

Pretty cool of God to wire teens with a biological advantage for the mental/spiritual battles they're going to face, huh? Let me know your thoughts after you've read this article!

The Other 3:16's (A Resource)

This year our middle school youth group (The ROCK) is gearing up for Easter by doing a series that we are calling 'The Other 3:16's'.

Just thought that I would post the graphics and the concept here for you to use if you are looking for a series to do in the next few weeks.

The Other 3:16's

John 3:16
Easter is coming, and so we want to start with the most basis of the 3:16's.
This is the one that it seems as if everyone knows, but one that we desperately need to understand and own deep in our hearts.
John 3:16 tells us of a God who loves us to much to let us die.

Revelation 3:16
While John 3:16 tells us how Jesus acted towards us, Revelation 3:16 speaks to how we are to respond back to Him. He wants us to live a life that is full and all out for Him instead of settling for lives of mediocrity.

Philippians 3:16
Jesus has given His all for us, and we are to respond back in worship to Him.
Now what?
Paul tells us that every day we need to be pressing forward into Him and into who He wants us to become.

Sword Drills, Hired Guns, 5 G's, and Your Ministry

If I told you I could have you meet with Doug Fields for one day and he would lay out the plans for your youth ministry, how much would you pay?  Or maybe Steven Furtick?  Or Mark Driscoll?  Rob Bell?  Marko? How about Jon Duey?

Yeah, I know, if push came to shove, and the offer was legit, we would try to scrape together whatever money we could from our undersized budgets and make it happen.  All of us want to see our ministries improve and do a better job of building the kingdom.  That's why we do youth ministry.  I mean, it's not for the overload of pizza we are exposed to.  It's because we love God, we love kids, and we want to see the Kingdom explode with students and families loving their King. 

That's why when Jesus gives us some commands, we try to take it seriously.  One of the more memorized and quoted ones is Matthew 28:19,20.  You know it.  We call it the Great Commission.  You've got it down.  Go into all the world and make disciples, baptize them, and teach them to do everything I've commanded.  We work on that everyday of our lives as student leaders and pastors.  It's what we are all about. 

Have you stopped recently to evaluate how that is going?  No, no, not in a guilt trip kind of way.  Just in a "hey, how are we doing?" kind of way.  If we don't stop and inspect where we are, we can get way off track.  On this pyramid we use, Level 3 is Beginning Discipleship.  This is the stuff that helps all of us move forward in our faith.  It's the foundational disciplines that we need to grow. 

We look at things like prayer, memorizing verses, reading the Bible, giving, living in some type of community where we can know others and be known.  It's the foundational stuff.  If you've been around Willow Creek, it's the Five G's.  If you've been around Saddleback, it's the Purposes.  We talk a ton about these things.  But how intentional are you about them?

As we help students understand these ideas, we are trying to build a self-sustaining foundation in them that will last way past their days in youth group.  I don't want students to memorize verses because they "have to".  I want to help them understand why storing God's truth away helps them live today.  I want to foster a love affair with the Bible in student's hearts.  I want them to learn to give because it sets them free to live the life He has called them to.  All of this takes a plan, which changes over time.  If you wrote your plan four years ago, it's past time to review it and revise it.  Your students have changed, your culture has changed, you have changed.  Has your plan changed?

As we put down these foundational building blocks, we allow students the resources and reserves to serve from.  These disciplines are not an end to themselves.  Someone following Jesus doesn't grow simply from quoting Scripture.  The Scripture is the sword and armor that allows them to wade out in the world and serve. 

We'll talk about that part next, when we discuss Level 4.

Let me know your thoughts.  What has been your experience with discipleship?  What's important in your ministry?  What is missing?

Daily Experiential Lent Calendar

At our high school ministry we are doing a series that we are calling Leave Behind.
Essentially we are intentionally walking through this season of Lent with the goal of living differently so that we can know, love and experience Jesus more and in a new and vibrant way.
As a tool to help our students we created a daily experiential Lent calendar.
If you're interested (or want to join in) here you go!

Experiential Lent Calendar

My Best Evangelistic Student Can Kick Your Best Student's Rear End!

Josh was a student who loved Jesus with all of his heart.  He prayed like crazy for his campus, and spent almost all of his time trying to find ways to open conversations with his friends about Jesus.  His freshman year, he prayed every day before school, alone, for his friends and campus.  That year, he personally lead 12 friends to Christ.  His sophomore year, he continued to focus his energy and love on his friends, and saw 25 of them come to faith.  His junior year, 37 more of his friends decided to follow Jesus.  Finally, his senior year saw 53 of his friends accept Jesus, totaling 127 of his friends coming to Jesus through his one on one evangelism in four years! 

When I talk about evangelism, this is not what I'm talking about.  Josh has never existed, as far as I know.  I just made him up.  Often, when we talk about evangelism in our youth ministries, we have some picture of a student like Josh as our goal, and most of the time, we fail at reaching that goal.  But is that the Biblical goal?  Is that what God has for us?

Evangelism is the idea of sharing the good news of Jesus with others in a way that they might meet Jesus and know Him better.  I'm not completely sure how we can measure that in specific numbers.  Think about it.  We all hear stories of people coming to Jesus, because someone in their life showed them love, and years later, God worked that in their hearts and they trusted Him.  If that happens, only measuring what is right in front of us is short sighted.  Remember, it's Paul who says that he planted the seed, Apollos watered it, but that Jesus harvested what grew there. 

For us, when we discuss evangelism, it comes from multiple places, in multiple methods, at multiple times.  We believe students are the best evangelists, and are constantly encouraging them to speak to their friends, and live a life with their friends, that impacts them.  We teach the good news of Jesus life, death, and resurrection almost weekly to our groups.  We do events where students can invited their friends to come and be loved and experience what life with Jesus looks like.  We carry out short, mid, and long range mission trips to cover the great commission.

But it is our job to speak with our lives and words the beautiful, powerful, amazingly good news of Jesus to others in a way that they can hear and experience.  It is clearly, Biblically, His job to change lives.  I am simply not in charge of that. 

I'm not in charge of when, how, or who He changes.

So, I don't measure those things.  I measure how often I am loving to people who need loved.  How often I pray with people and point them to Jesus.  How often I ask God to use me, that day, for His plans.  How often I pray for the lives and hearts of students, parents, and friends who don't yet know Jesus.  I measure the things He has given me to do. 

But I do NOT measure the things He has not given me.

What is your ministry's understanding of evangelism?

Support Students During Grief

Thanks for watching...here are some resources that might help.

http://www.youthministry.com/articles/families/caring-grieving-students

Nooma DVD - 012 - Matthew:

Watch - http://vimeo.com/13853379

Purchase (which I highly suggest, I show it to students all the time, plus it is on sale for only $5 right now) - http://store.flannel.org/012.html

This article is a school perspective on students in grief. It has some good reminders: http://theapple.monster.com/benefits/articles/1927-how-to-help-your-students-deal-with-grief-and-loss

Level 1 - Relationships in Ministry

Relationships are the easiest, primary level of a youth ministry.  Almost everyone who is interested in youth ministry enjoys the relational side of ministry.  Not all, but most.  Here's what it means for us:


* Relationships are the first steps for students to meet Jesus
        Students want to be known.  Relational trust has to come first, for students to ever care what you say or believe.  Why should they believe something from someone they don't like, or who doesn't like them?  Do NOT fall into the build relationships as a means to an end.  The relationships must exist as their own end.  You need to love students because they are God's kids, not because you want to move them to some other place in their life.  Think of it like this; would you have a relationship with a student who told you they would never, ever go to church or love Jesus?  Do they have value to you simply because they "are"?


* Relationships are the biggest group of students.
         You will always have more students in this phase of your ministry than any other.  Jesus tells us that the number of people who follow Him is small.  In His own ministry, you see a movement from large crowds, to a few, to one or two of those closest to Him.  Ministry is the same paradigm.  This entry point of being known and knowing others is the easiest to be a part of, requires the least of students, and is very attractive to a lot of kids.  As you evaluate your group, you should consistently have more students at this level than any other.  If you don't, either you aren't being generous enough with your love as a group, or you have watered down the upper tiers of the pyramid too much.


* Some students will never leave this level.
        While we hope to see every student advance up to a deeper love and relationship with Jesus, it won't always happen.  Some students who you genuinely love will stay at level 1.  They just will.  It's God's job to draw them, to move them, to change them.  It is not our job.  It IS our job to love them faithfully, and speak His truth to them consistently.  But simply doing these things doesn't mean a student must move up the levels.  You are not failing if they stay at level 1.  Pray for them, do what is right, and patiently wait for God to work.  Don't force students to be what they actually are not.


* No one completely leaves this level
       You will have students grow, follow Jesus, and become amazing levels.  They will always need the relational piece of ministry, and it will always be the foundation you build on.  When you forget this, you turn ministry and mentoring into business meetings, and it stops.  Love your core kids, spend time with them laughing and being silly.  They are amazing teenagers, but they are still teenagers.  Relationships always matter.  You don't move from one level to the next, you simply build one on the other.  Never forget that.


Next up, we'll discuss level 2; Evangelism.

When things are 'off' - Pace

We've started the conversation of the reality of having seasons of ministry that are 'off'.
The question is, if you are in that season, what do you do?
When I am in the midst of one of those times these 5 "P's" are the things that I check myself on. The first was PERSONAL. The second was PRAYER. The third was PREPARATION.
The fourth is this ...
PACE

Our ministry is built on leaders
They are the ones in the trenches
They are the ones doing the work
They are the ones being pastors to our students
More and more I'm coming to realize that one of my main roles and functions is to lead our leaders
That is, I am to set the PACE for them
Our leaders can only do that which I have ...
... modeled for them
... equipped them
... empowered them
... released them

When things are off, I need to check the pace that I am setting
Am I being intentional with our leaders?
Am I asking them to do something I am not willing to do;
Or am I asking them to go somewhere that I am not willing to go
Have I given them what they need to be successful as they love their students

How about you?
As a pastor
As a leader
YOU set the pace
How is it?

When things are 'off' - Preparation

We've started the conversation of the reality of having seasons of ministry that are 'off'.
The question is, if you are in that season, what do you do?
When I am in the midst of one of those times these 5 "P's" are the things that I check myself on. The first was PERSONAL. The second was PRAYER
The third is this ...
PREPARATION

It's pretty simple.
In those times where I'm off, I need to look at my preparation.
Have I just been lazy?
Have I been intentional?
Have I been forward thinking?

Often times I find that preparing for the week in and week out details of a youth group night get squeezed out by things that, while not more pressing, are more immediate.
When I allow that to happen, then I'm not putting forth the effort needed to make things excellent.
I rely on things we've done before, games we've played before, stories I've told before.
In college I was told that 'busyness is the death of creativity'
It's true.

My study
Writing the lesson
Writing small group curriculum
Finding application points
Creating tangible 'take-away' things
The games and the the videos
They are all apart of my preparation; and when I get lazy there
Things just get 'off'

A Plan for Ministry - 5 Steps

Everyone has a different approach to how to organize youth ministry, and that is a beautiful thing.  Willow Creek runs off the 5 G's, Saddleback has the purposes, Northpoint has the C's.  I love them all, and learn from them all.

We have a system that is pretty basic, but it works for me.  We work off of a 5 level pyramid.  So, yes, we run a pyramid scheme for our youth group.  We're changing our name to AmWay Jr/Sr High next fall.  Anyway, it looks like this:

 

We use each of these five levels to discuss where a student is in their growth, where we are doing well in ministry, what programs are we running, which programs should we add or let go of, what does the future of the ministry look like, and more.  Over the next few days, we'll walk through each level and discuss what each one is.  Tomorrow, we'll start with Level 1 - Relationships.

When things are 'off' - Prayer

We've started the conversation of the reality of having seasons of ministry that are 'off'.
The question is, if you are in that season, what do you do?
When I am in the midst of one of those times these 5 "P's" are the things that I check myself on. The first was PERSONAL.
The second is this ...
PRAYER

It seems like a simple one
I mean, after all, what pastor doesn't pray?
However, when things are off I have to check myself
Do I pray or do I (as Acts says) earnestly pray
It becomes so easy to go through the motions
Yeah, to be sincere
Yeah, to give it time
Yeah, to say the right things
But it's easy to get lazy
Ok, maybe it's just me
Yet, when things are off, I tend to find that my prayer has shifted
It becomes less real, less desperate, less gut wrenching
It starts to cost me less and becomes more of a hassle
The solution?
To carve out extra time; to sit in the presence of Jesus and to pour myself out
How are you doing at praying?

(This seems to be a common theme today; read Jason's previous post)

You Know that One Student You Don't Know How to Help?

I have a student in the ministry who breaks my heart.  They are headed for a ton of hurt and pain in life if Jesus doesn't really turn things around for them.  I've had a volunteer leader try to counsel them, we've involved them in the full life of the group, and we've spent time trying to help the family.  It hasn't seemed to really get us anywhere.

This student has struggled at school, on her teams at school, and at home.  I've been frustrated at my lack of being able to help them.  I've spent time trying to speak truth to, listen to, and pray with the parents.  But in the end, I'm frustrated.

But I haven't really prayed.  Until this weekend.

I began praying some for this student specifically.  I mean, I've prayed the "God please help her to do better", "God, please help this work out", "God, please help mom and dad deal with this" prayers.  And like I said, I've prayed with the parents a couple of times in person and on the phone.  I meant every word I prayed.

But I hadn't stopped and really just begged God to change the course we are on.  I haven't really laid it out before Him and asked for some specific wisdom, and I haven't prayed a prayer of desperation.  Why?  Because I know from hanging around Jesus for a long time now, that if I pray those prayers, He is going to answer.  That answer is going to involve me getting involved at a deeper level with this student.  That's not something I've been jumping up and down about.  This student can be really difficult.  This student can be really obnoxious.  This student can really push all of my buttons, really fast, without even trying.

I was quietly hoping something, or someone else would fix it all.  It hasn't.

So, this weekend, in desperation, I began to really pray.  I began to call out, to beg God for help.  My concern for this kid began to override my own stuff.  I spent time with our leadership team praying for this whole situation.  I've continue to do so.

Later this weekend, I had an unexpected window of opportunity to talk with this student, and God pushed me through it.  I had to be persistent, and really work at getting them to talk.  When I finally admitted that I didn't know how to help them, but I wanted to, it all began to crack a little.  Slowly, God lead us through a conversation that, while I would not call it a breakthrough, or earth shattering, it was a start.

It's prayer.  Pure and simple.  Prayer changed me.  Changed my heart.  Admitting to God I that I was, and continue to be, in over my head with this student is what began the movement.  It doesn't matter how many times I've worked with tough students, I simply do not have enough to fix these things.  Experience, wisdom, and knowledge doesn't change people's hearts, Jesus does.

As a leader, run to Him.  Pray like crazy, and be ready for the change to come.

In you.

Parents as Leaders - How to Make it Work?

In the first post, we discussed why we need to recruit parents.  Today, I want to talk about how we do it.

One of the big things to recognize is that you need an open ministry.  We need to have ministries that are always open to parents, and encourage them to come, see, and be involved.  We can only support what they are doing in the faith formation of their kids.  They need to see and experience first hand what is going on in our ministries.  This doesn't mean that every parent should be a small group leader, or a teacher.  But they should be welcome at some level.

The challenge is to prayerfully figure out where.  Some parents are great leaders.  They don't need to be crazy, or loud, or even extroverts.  One of my very best small group leaders is a guy who is a quiet, introverted, financial accountant.  He is amazing with his guys.  He is consistent, he loves them deeply, and he listens so well.  They think he's great!  I do to.  My point is God uses all of us, regardless of age, personality, or gift mix.  Find the right role for the right people, and your ministry will flourish.

Setting guidelines for parents as leaders is crucial as well.  One rule we have is that a parent can't be the group leader for their own kid.  This gives the student a place to be without worrying about what their mom or dad think about them.  Everyone needs a voice outside of their family to speak truth into them.  It also lets the parents interact with students who give them a fair chance, which sometimes their own children may not do.  It's a win-win.

We don't let parents be parents at group.  What I mean is, we are clear in our expectation that they are there to work with other kids, not monitor their own.  If they cross this line, I speak to them about it.  If the students cross this line, I'll speak with them.  Obviously everyone in the group knows which leader is which student's parents.  But we expect them to deal with their family issues outside of youth group, and we make that abundantly clear.

It often takes quite a while to recruit parents into the ministry.  Usually it takes me 7 - 8 discussions with them before they will seriously consider it.  Once they decide they might be interested, I always go to their children and discuss it with them.  I'll talk with everyone about what their fears are, I'll explain what the benefits are for everyone, and then encourage them to give it a try.  The students always have a veto power in the deal.  I won't force a student to let their parents serve.  Sometimes they are reluctant, but we are batting 100% so far, as far as students getting comfortable with their parents around.

I really believe if you put in a place a plan on who to recruit, how to recruit, and how to monitor the relationships, parents are some of the very best leaders we can find.  The only ones better are grandparents.  Yeah, I said it.  Grandparents are the very, very best youth leaders around.  But that's another discussion.

Let me know what you think, and if you have specific questions on how to make this all work, let me know.  I'd love to help.

When things are 'off' - Personal

We've started the conversation of the reality of just having seasons of ministry that are 'off'.
The question is, if you are in that season, what do you do?
When I am in the midst of one of those times these 5 "P's" are the things that I check myself on

Personal

I always start here
What is my personal life like? What is happening in my own soul?
I cannot lead out; I cannot pour myself out
If I am empty or if I am dry
And so I check my personal life against these questions:

• Is there any unconfessed or undealt with sin in my life?
• Am I connecting with Jesus? Am I resting in His presence?
• How are my sabbath days? Am I cheating them?
• How is my home life? Have I cheated home? Am I fully there when I am there?
• What about my habits (eating, sleeping, exercising)? Are any out of balance?

Inevitably there is something here that needs work
An area that I've let slip or where I've gotten lazy
My public ministry and effectiveness flows out of my personal life;
And so I start here and constantly evaluate how I am doing in those areas.

Parents as Leaders - Why Take the Chance?

After having been at the whole youth ministry thing for a while, I've realized a couple of really, really stupid beliefs I had earlier in my ministry.  One of the BIG ones was the idea that parent's make poor youth group leaders.  Here's how my thoughts kind of rolled:

1. They will parent their kids instead of being a leader.
2. No student will want their parent involved.
3. If kids see other parents in the group, they won't want to come.
4. Parents are too old, and don't have enough energy, cool factor, etc.
5. Parents are out of touch, and won't be able to relate to the students.
6. Parents will try to take over, and cause me a lot of grief.

You get the idea...

But slowly, God opened my eyes to a few things that I had wrong.  To begin with, most of the REAL argument going on inside of me was fear.  I felt inadequate to lead parents.  I was okay with other leaders my age, but parents?  Come on.  Why would they follow me?  And I was afraid they would see through my show.  I wasn't as well trained as I had hoped to be, and I knew far too little sometimes.  I would get embarrassed and be afraid to ask for help, because I was convinced no one would follow me after that.  So, I kept parents out due to fear, in large part.

Then, in my late 20's, I had some great parents volunteer.  I'm not sure why, it wasn't because of my great leadership.  They just wanted to serve teenagers.  So they began helping.  And I began growing.

Over the last 10 years (or more....sigh.....) here are some reasons I have found for involving parents:

1. They know students and students culture.  They are living it 24/7.  They know what is going on.
2. They are on the students schedules.  They are already at the band concerts, baseball games, and awards ceremonies.  They are involved in the schools.  They are in the student's worlds.
3. They have a passion for this generation.  They are HEAVILY invested in this group of students.
4. They know the kids.  Many of them have been coaching little league baseball and hosting birthday parties for these students for 10 years or more.  They know this group of kids.
5. They know the families.  It's so tough to get into a families life when only a student comes to youth group.  But my parents know the other parents, and are naturals at ministering to these families.

It's a win, for the most part.  It really is.  Tomorrow, I'll talk about who to recruit, and how to help them win with their own kids in the ministry.

When things are 'off'

Have you ever just been off?
You know what I mean;
You had an ok night, but not a great one
There's nothing wrong with the ministry; yet nothing is really right either
Your teaching was ok, but that was it; it was just ok
We've all been there, and the reality it's normal.
There are times where we are just going to be off

But what do you do if that happens more than every once in awhile?
What do you do when you are in a season of being 'off'?
What do you do when it feels like you are 'off' more than you are 'on'?

I think there are some key things that there are some key areas that we can check ourselves on (that we need to check ourselves on) to make sure that we are doing all that we can to make sure that we are not 'off'.

Over the next couple of posts I'll walk through the 4 areas that I am constantly checking myself on to not get stuck being 'off'

Creation Swap saved my life! Kind of....

Graphic Design Resource - Creation Swap
(used to be Creative MYK)

I realize this is not a new resource, but it's a crucial one.  I use it constantly.  It's a site with dozens of copyright free graphic designs created mostly for church use.  You can use the stuff you find as backgrounds for worship lyrics, promotional posters, flyers, websites, etc.  Most of it doesn't need any editing.

If you have Photoshop, a lot of the designs are on the site in a .psd format as well, which is beautiful because then you can edit and rework them in any way you need.  This site saves me HOURS of work.  I highly recommend it if you haven't already been mining the gold buried there.

Check it out, and pass it on to anyone who could use the resource.

www.creationswap.com

Its not about you...

So I used to think that the flow of a night, or the feeling/energy of a ministry activity was based on how I was doing that day.

Honest...

We have our Junior High Ministry on Wednesday Nights and our Senior High Ministry on Thursday Nights. I found myself anticipating an awesome night when I was having a great day.

Whether it would be I had lunch at Chipotle...
**Shameless plug
Had a great day in the office...
Got a new Youth Ministry toy to play with...
(Raise your hand if you know what I am talking about!?)
Had a great conversation with a Student or a Parent...

Whatever.

But i always, for some reason, anticipated an awesome night of ministry if I was having a great day. Now on the other hand I would anticipate a horrible night of ministry IF I was having a bad day. Honestly I would hate even thinking about the Students coming and being bored, low numbers, not excited... etc. That was all because I, ME, I was having a bad day.

Now some crazy things happened. Sometimes I would have an awesome day, a great sunny happy day and our Ministry night wouldn't be outstanding. Not that it was bad, but it just wouldnt be as powerful as I thought it was. The same was true for the opposite situation. I would be having a junky day...
JUNK
but God would still move through the night and Students would have an awesome time getting in touch with God. I would be standing on the side just in awe, as if I had anything to do with the night being great or not. It's not about me.

I think this is an issue that most of us face. For some reason we dont think God is able to compartmentalize our junky attitude and a great night with a great Spirit amongst the Students. We think that WE actually have the final say whether or not the night goes well. Kind of like that attitude of "Im having a crappy day so you get to have one also..."

Dudes... Its not about us. God will use you if you want him to use you... But on the other hand God doesn't need to use you. He can do it himself. He can make Students have an awesome night whether you are or are not.

Its almost a sense of P... Prrr...Prriiiiii...
Echhh HEMMM (Clears Throat)

PRIDE.

Be sensitive to God. He is going to make a Ministry Night powerful and awesome whether you are down or up. Its not about you... Its about Him...

The Senior Pastor / Youth Pastor Relationship: Lead Up

Here's the third point of our Senior Pastor / Youth Pastor series of discussions.

You need to lead up.

The idea is from a talk Bill Hybels used to give at Willow Creek, and it transformed my understanding of my leadership role.  I had a top down approach to leadership.  My pastor was boss, he lead me.  Each staff member had a ranking of who was over who, and each lead the next, either officially or unofficially.  Then each ministry had it's volunteers, and the staff member lead them.  So I was always trying to figure out where I was on the totem pole with each staff change, and would honestly jockey for better spots depending on the season of ministry I was in.

Then Bill helped me see that servant leadership is 360 degrees, not top down.  It's my job to be a servant leader for my volunteers.  Provide direction, encourage, educate about our roles, pray for them, and help them succeed.  I wasn't always good at it, but I understood the concept.

Then he pushed me to see that I had to play the same roles with my peers on staff.  I wasn't the worship pastor's boss, I wasn't the small groups pastor's supervisor, but I had a responsibility to provide servant leadership for them.  I needed to provide direction, encourage, educate about our roles, pray for them, and help them succeed.  I needed to share where we were going as a ministry, and work with them to join with where God had them going.  We weren't parallel silo's a the church.  We were a family, pushing together in one direction.

The big challenge for me though, was not just to lead "down" to my volunteers, not just to lead "sideways" to the other pastor's on our staff, but to lead "up" to my senior pastor.  With him as well I need to provide direction, encourage, educate about our roles, pray for him, and help him succeed.  The direction I provide comes in the way of communication about what God is doing in our ministry, how the church is winning the battle for the hearts and minds of families, where my leaders are growing in their faith, and tie it all back into the bigger picture of the church at large.  He has SO much on his desk in a given day, he doesn't always have time to look for what God is doing around the church.  As I communicate that to him (email, casual conversations, etc.) it helps him do his job better.  I'm not leading him in the sense of telling him what to do, or trying to steer him in a direction favorable to me.  Those are NOT my roles.  But I am providing a easy window for him to see where God is at work beyond his daily responsibilities.  It's servant leadership.  And when I make changes to my ministry direction, I try to communicate it AHEAD of time with him in a clear, positive way so that he knows what is going on BEFORE everyone else knows.  That way he isn't caught off guard and left wondering what is going on.

So, whatever your age or position, lead 360 degrees from a servant's heart.  It communicates family, trust, love, encouragement, and support.  And what senior pastor couldn't use a little more of those?

Persistent Prayer: Pounding Down the Door

Last night at IMPACT, we looked at a modern spin on the parable of the friend at midnight from the "36 Parables" series clip titled "Out of Reach". I won't go into detail on it, but you can check it out here if you'd like: http://www.36parables.com.

Anyway, when we read through the parable (Luke 11:5-8, NLT), something caught me that I hadn't thought about in a couple years. Read what it says really quick...

5 Then, teaching them more about prayer, [Jesus] used this story: “Suppose you went to a friend’s house at midnight, wanting to borrow three loaves of bread. You say to him, 6 ‘A friend of mine has just arrived for a visit, and I have nothing for him to eat.’ 7 And suppose he calls out from his bedroom, ‘Don’t bother me. The door is locked for the night, and my family and I are all in bed. I can’t help you.’ 8 But I tell you this—though he won’t do it for friendship’s sake, if you keep knocking long enough, he will get up and give you whatever you need because of your shameless persistence.

So often I've seen pastors focus in on the "Ask, Seek, Knock" verses immediately following this passage. But these verses grabbed me this time around. I thought that if I was the guy woken up in the middle of the night, I would surely get up (even as groggy and annoyed as I might be) and help the person in need. Then I realized that we're not supposed to put ourselves in the place of the homeowner; in this story, we're the ones pounding on the door in the middle of the night! God is the homeowner, and the friend back at our house waiting for some bread to eat represents the people we're reaching out to and loving for Jesus' sake.

Now I know that's not rocket science, but what's interesting is the lengths we're supposed to go to in order to get an answer at the door. "Shameless persistence" doesn't mean knocking a time or two and moving on. It means pounding on the door so hard that the hinges are about to rip away from the door frame. It means yelling at the top of our voices until we're hoarse trying to wake the homeowner up, unafraid of being seen as a jerk, being perceived as needy or making a fool out of ourselves.

But what makes us the persistent, shameless door knockers Jesus is calling us to be? Simple: knowing that we're doing the right thing. It's easier to be persistent with something when we have no doubt that it needs to be done. If a friend is injured at camp, we'll sprint our guts out to get to the nurses' station for help, even if it means searching the whole camp to find her. If a child is trapped in a burning building, we'll climb every fire escape, break every window out and scream our heads off for someone to call 911. Why the urgency? Because we're sold out on the fact that what we're doing is more important than anything else at that moment.

So we have to ask ourselves: are we making a habit of pounding God's door down? The friend in the story was bound and determined to get his hands on some bread, because it's what his guest needed most. When we see needs in our students and their families that we aren't able to meet, are we pouring our guts out to God on their behalf? Are we setting time aside to lay it all out there before the God who understands our needs better than we do? Even if we're not asking for exactly the right thing, isn't he bound to show us that and provide us with what we REALLY need?

Grab your calendar, day planner, cell phone, or whatever keeps your schedule, and add "DOOR POUNDING" at least 2-3 times next week. This weekend, ask God to give you his eyes to see the needs of your students & their families...and then pound down God's door for them Monday morning.

The Senior Pastor / Youth Pastor Relationship: The Myth of "Feed Me"

Lesson #2 - They Are Not Your Private Mentor

Honestly, a lot of times when I'm teaching college students who are ready to leave school and begin in ministry, they have this unspoken idea that when they get to a good church, the senior pastor is going to mentor them, shape them, and pour tons of time into them.  They have this picture of them and their senior pastor taking long walks, eating ice cream together, spending hours exegeting Numbers 14, and having their wisdom tank filled up and over running.  In this dream, birds sing, a rainbow appears in the sky, and Jesus comes down and plays disc golf with them as the light fades.

End scene.

Uhh.....no.  Let's be perfectly honest here.  I love my senior pastor today.  He has poured into me, and taught me more than I can imagine.  I owe much of who I am as a pastor to him.  I am completely grateful for him, he's my brother, and he's an amazing man of God.  But we don't eat ice cream and study ancient texts together.  We are brothers and friends.  But his role in the church is to lead the church, and to train the people to do the work of ministry.  He is not my personal mentor.  The pastor in my previous church wasn't, the pastor before that wasn't either.  It's not their role.

I do learn from him, and he does pour into me from time to time.  But the reality is, in most churches, there isn't enough time or resources for the senior pastor to give you that much attention.  Your growth is up to you.  I do have friends with very different relationships with their senior pastors.  Some are very close friends, some aren't.  Some are very discipleship focused with their staff, some are more hands off.  It varies, just depending on the church's size, values, the pastor's personality, and the stage of life of the youth pastor. 

One thing I try to pour into everyone I send out into ministry is that their personal spiritual growth is up to them, not anyone else.  It's their responsibility to figure out who to learn from, and their responsibility to be sure they are learning and growing.  God is our mentor.  But don't look to your senior pastor to do that for you.  It's an unfair, unrealistic, and sometimes selfish idea.

So, how do you grow?  Read.  Alot.  Pray.  Alot. Attend conferences, listen to podcasts, get around leaders who know more than you do, and admit to them and yourself that they know more than you do.  Be a life long learner.  We are all disciples.  We all need to grow and change everyday.

Just don't dump that weight on your senior pastor's shoulders.

God doesn't.

One - Calculated

We believe that ONE leader can make all the difference
Because of that we have pretty high expectations of them
Our first three expectations is that they are COMMITTED, CONSISTENT and CARE
Here is our final expectation:

CALCULATED

We realize that nothing just happens. In fact, quite the opposite, if you are not calculated then nothing will happen! We expect our leaders to be calculated ... to be intentional. Praying for their students, investing in them, leading them, creating a healthy small group environment for them; all of those things happen by accident. They are the by-product of planning and intentional focus.

The Senior Pastor / Youth Pastor Relationship: Don't Make God Torch You

Sometimes the relationship between a youth pastor and a senior pastor can be a tricky tightrope to walk.  There have been dozens of articles and books written on this already.  But yet, it continues to be tough spot to be in.

From the senior pastor side, they have a ton of responsibility on their shoulders.  They have to do ministry, and be something of a CEO/manager position.  They aren't trained for it, and honestly most aren't hard wired for it.  They became pastors to work with people and teach God's good news, not manage staff meetings and juggle budgets, building issues, and counsel everyone in town.  It's a tough gig, and they often feel somewhat alone in their role.

Youth pastors are in a tough spot as well.  They are often seen as "almost" a pastor, the person on staff who either hasn't quite yet made it, or doesn't quite have what it takes.  They can get blame for everything that goes wrong in a building, and seem to be trying to manage ministries that are under attack from every other organization on the planet (school calendars, sport teams, teens jobs, family events, etc.)  They often find themselves stuck between the world of adults (not quite yet) and teens (a little too far past).  It's tough.

So, as youth leaders, what can we do to navigate this issue?

I've had the privilege of working for three pastors over the last twenty years.  The men I've worked with and for have loved Jesus, loved the church, and supported me to the best of their ability.  My current pastor and I have worked side by side for a decade, and I love and respect him like crazy.  I thought maybe I'd throw out some of the lessons I've learned over that time.  If you can take one or two of my mistakes, and avoid repeating them, then it's all worth it.

Lesson #1 - God gave them their job.

If you are in a church that loves Jesus, and tries to follow Him at some level, then you can rest assured that God has put your pastor in the role he is in.  Yeah, your pastor has faults and weaknesses.  I know.  You can list them out quickly, precisely, and with footnotes.

That's the problem.

You're disrespecting the man / woman that God has appointed over the church.

Stop it.

I'm not saying you need to swing the pendulum and worship the senior pastor, or put them on a pedestal.  It's the exact opposite.  You need to do away with the pedestal all together.  You're judging them by a standard that isn't fair, and you're forgetting God's wisdom and plan in all of this.  Your pastor is in the role they are in so that they can grow, love God more, and be used by Him to confound the wise in this world.  They don't measure up to your expectations, but your expectations are likely unfair.  At times I have judged my senior pastor by standards I myself would never want to live up to.  I justified it by saying "But they're the senior pastor.  They are supposed to be so much more that I'm supposed to be."  That's incorrect, unfair, and a lie.

Now, if you're in a church where the church isn't chasing after Jesus, but is just coasting as a social club, you have deeper issues than that of your relationship with your pastor.  These articles may not apply to you, but you definitely need to talk.  Contact any of us on this blog, and let's talk about where you're at.

But if your church wants to follow Jesus, and your pastor is trying to live a life of obedience, then get over yourself.

Read Numbers 16 where people come and complain about Moses.  God doesn't put up with it.  He burns the 250 dissenting staff members alive.  Literally.  Don't go there.

Support your pastor.  Pray for them.  Fight the thoughts between your ears.  Don't dwell on negatives, and don't allow stupid, unfair expectations and idealism cause you to complain about your leader.  Love them, show them grace, cheer for them, and support them.  All the time.

God calls us to it.

Tomorrow, we'll look at some more pieces of this relationship between senior pastors and youth pastors.

Leadership Lessons from Moses, Stoners, and the Desert

I was reading in Numbers 14, and found an amazing passage for us as youth pastors and leaders.  Check this out:

5 Then Moses and Aaron fell face down in front of the whole Israelite assembly gathered there.6 Joshua son of Nun and Caleb son of Jephunneh, who were among those who had explored the land, tore their clothes7 and said to the entire Israelite assembly, “The land we passed through and explored is exceedingly good.8 If the Lord is pleased with us, he will lead us into that land, a land flowing with milk and honey, and will give it to us.
9 Only do not rebel against the Lord. And do not be afraid of the people of the land, because we will devour them. Their protection is gone, but the Lord is with us. Do not be afraid of them.” 10 But the whole assembly talked about stoning them. Then the glory of the Lord appeared at the tent of meeting to all the Israelites.11 The Lord said to Moses, “How long will these people treat me with contempt? How long will they refuse to believe in me, in spite of all the signs I have performed among them?
12 I will strike them down with a plague and destroy them, but I will make you into a nation greater and stronger than they.” 13 Moses said to the Lord, “Then the Egyptians will hear about it! By your power you brought these people up from among them.14 And they will tell the inhabitants of this land about it. They have already heard that you, Lord, are with these people and that you, Lord, have been seen face to face, that your cloud stays over them, and that you go before them in a pillar of cloud by day and a pillar of fire by night.15 If you put these people to death all at one time, the nations who have heard this report about you will say,
16 ‘The Lord was not able to bring these people into the land he promised them on oath, so he slaughtered them in the wilderness.’ 17 “Now may the Lord’s strength be displayed, just as you have declared:18 ‘The Lord is slow to anger, abounding in love and forgiving sin and rebellion. Yet he does not leave the guilty unpunished; he punishes the children for the sin of the parents to the third and fourth generation.’
19 In accordance with your great love, forgive the sin of these people, just as you have pardoned them from the time they left Egypt until now.” 

Did you catch the story?  Moses and Aaron tell the people God's words and truth, and the people decide to kill them.  They don't want to hear the truth, so they decide to kill them.  I know from time to time we as leaders face tough times, especially in working with students.  Often we pour our hearts into our students and parents, and instead of listening to God's call for them, they become angry and turn it back on us.  It's enough to make us want to quit.

But look at Moses response.  He prays for the very ones wanting to kill him.  He begs God to save THEIR lives.  He doesn't pray for himself, he prays for them.  


May this be our response when we face challenges and those wanting to crucify us over them.  May we lead like Moses.


And Jesus.