We did the 30 Hour Famine this weekend. I've done it for the last 15 years. I've gotta be honest; I didn't want to do it this year. The week leading up to it, I wanted to cancel it. I just was tired, and didn't want the work of it, and I didn't want to starve for 30 hours....again. I hoped school would be canceled from the snow on Friday, so I could justify canceling the event.
I know, I know, World Vision needs the money. Starving children need the money. I know. I'm just that selfish sometimes.
I also knew God wouldn't let me out of it.
He didn't.
So we did the famine, and as always, it was amazing. Not only did a lot of students experience hunger and loss, and not only did they raise a TON of money to help, and not only did they get to experience real service in real time, but God was so generous to us. He showed us His love, His encouragement, His grace, and moved us for His children around the world.
No surprise.
He does it every year.
So why, as a veteran leader, who knows all of this, did I want to cancel it? I lost focus.
I can easily believe that the ministry is about me. Don't misunderstand, I would NEVER say that out loud, but that doesn't mean it isn't true. When I am more worried about how I feel, about what would be easier for me, when I think things like "I've done this 15 times, it won't hurt if we skip #16", I have lost focus. It happens all the time to leaders. It happens to you.
It doesn't mean you're a failure or a horrible leader. It is what it is; you've stopped looking at the right thing, and you've chosen to look at the wrong thing. You've lost focus. While it's normal, it's highly destructive. As leader's we need to be aware of our driving emotions and beliefs. The ministry isn't about us. It's not about the kids. It's about God. He is our focus. What does He want us to do today? We need to be about it, 100%. Then we open ourselves up, and our students up, to His work in our lives. Then the ministry becomes ... well ... a ministry.
Where have you lost focus lately? What do you need to do to refocus?
A site of ideas and articles for youth ministry volunteers, newbies, veterans, and anyone else who loves ministry. The authors on this site have a combined 45 years of experience in youth ministry, which basically means we know that we really don't know much.
Monday, February 28, 2011
Friday, February 25, 2011
One - Care
We believe that ONE leader can make all the difference
Because of that we have pretty high expectations of them
Our first two expectations is that they are COMMITTED and CONSISTENT
Here is our third expectation:
We expect our leaders to care about their students.
That sounds pretty self-explanatory, but we take this and push it to a little deeper level
If you are working with students, of course you care for them
However, for us CARE = INVEST
We expect our leaders to invest in the lives of students.
Again we hold up 1 Thessalonians 2:8 as our theme verse
That means that we share Jesus with the students;
But we also share our lives with them
That means more than just adding them on to our schedule
And it's not just making time for them in our schedule
No, it means that we include them into the schedule that we keep
We invite them into our daily lives
We meet them in their daily life, becoming incarnational and entering into their world
Word don't count if the actions don't match them
So, with our words as well as with our actions and time we want to care, love on & invest in our students.
Because of that we have pretty high expectations of them
Our first two expectations is that they are COMMITTED and CONSISTENT
Here is our third expectation:
CARE
We expect our leaders to care about their students.
That sounds pretty self-explanatory, but we take this and push it to a little deeper level
If you are working with students, of course you care for them
However, for us CARE = INVEST
We expect our leaders to invest in the lives of students.
Again we hold up 1 Thessalonians 2:8 as our theme verse
That means that we share Jesus with the students;
But we also share our lives with them
That means more than just adding them on to our schedule
And it's not just making time for them in our schedule
No, it means that we include them into the schedule that we keep
We invite them into our daily lives
We meet them in their daily life, becoming incarnational and entering into their world
Word don't count if the actions don't match them
So, with our words as well as with our actions and time we want to care, love on & invest in our students.
Thursday, February 24, 2011
What to do when you are getting beat down.
This week has been RIDICULOUS!! I don't know where you may personally stand on Satan's involvement when things go bad, but I believe there are problems we create for ourselves (the Bible describes as consequences for our sin) and problems Satan creates for us (yep, you guessed it, trials). While I know I create enough mess in my own life, this week has definitely been a Satan-created week of trouble, church wide.
Here's just some of the scoop:
1. Both our middle school and high school meetings have been bombs this week.
2. Both speakers at our meetings prepped, prayed, planned, and practiced (a little alliteration for those who need it) a ton. They were ready. Both tanked in their deliveries. The senior high one was a gospel presentation from our most evangelistic leader. Still fell hard on its face.
3. We had a student show up under the influence at middle school.
4. We had a fight at middle school youth group.
5. I personally had three guitars quit working 15 minutes before worship. Later, when I worked on one of them, it was completely missing one of two electric leads (wires) that have to be in there for it to play. I had played it two days earlier. Now it had ceased to exist. Gone.
6. I had three male leaders not show at the last minute for senior high, all of which are committed, faithful, knowledgeable, well trained, leaders.
This is just some of the some of what we faced. I could add several more lists for what is going on in families in the church that I am aware of, what our children's ministry has faced this week (just as bizarre), or our worship ministries. It keeps going and going and going.
In my understanding of the Bible, and the worldview it creates, we are under attack.
Okay. That means God is working. It doesn't mean we are special, or doing anything extraordinary. The attack isn't about us. It's about God. Satan doesn't really care about us. We're pawns in his way. It's about God.
After senior high, students continued to face book and text their leaders about how God was working on their hearts, and how they need to do more to reach their friends. WIN for God.
At the end of middle school, in one of our sixth grade girls small groups, the leader asked if anyone would like to pray for the group. Of course, there was silence. One girl spoke up, said she wanted to, but didn't know how. Our leader got to explain to the whole group how to pray, the girl lead in prayer, and prayed her heart out. It was beautiful.
God is blessing our ministry in so many other ways.
Its all Him. It's always all Him.
I have spoke to some other friends. They're hitting a wall this week too. So, if you are being faithful, you are following His lead, and you're getting sucker punched left and right, then look up. It's not about you. It's about Him.
It always is.
Here's just some of the scoop:
1. Both our middle school and high school meetings have been bombs this week.
2. Both speakers at our meetings prepped, prayed, planned, and practiced (a little alliteration for those who need it) a ton. They were ready. Both tanked in their deliveries. The senior high one was a gospel presentation from our most evangelistic leader. Still fell hard on its face.
3. We had a student show up under the influence at middle school.
4. We had a fight at middle school youth group.
5. I personally had three guitars quit working 15 minutes before worship. Later, when I worked on one of them, it was completely missing one of two electric leads (wires) that have to be in there for it to play. I had played it two days earlier. Now it had ceased to exist. Gone.
6. I had three male leaders not show at the last minute for senior high, all of which are committed, faithful, knowledgeable, well trained, leaders.
This is just some of the some of what we faced. I could add several more lists for what is going on in families in the church that I am aware of, what our children's ministry has faced this week (just as bizarre), or our worship ministries. It keeps going and going and going.
In my understanding of the Bible, and the worldview it creates, we are under attack.
Okay. That means God is working. It doesn't mean we are special, or doing anything extraordinary. The attack isn't about us. It's about God. Satan doesn't really care about us. We're pawns in his way. It's about God.
After senior high, students continued to face book and text their leaders about how God was working on their hearts, and how they need to do more to reach their friends. WIN for God.
At the end of middle school, in one of our sixth grade girls small groups, the leader asked if anyone would like to pray for the group. Of course, there was silence. One girl spoke up, said she wanted to, but didn't know how. Our leader got to explain to the whole group how to pray, the girl lead in prayer, and prayed her heart out. It was beautiful.
God is blessing our ministry in so many other ways.
Its all Him. It's always all Him.
I have spoke to some other friends. They're hitting a wall this week too. So, if you are being faithful, you are following His lead, and you're getting sucker punched left and right, then look up. It's not about you. It's about Him.
It always is.
One - Consistent
We believe that ONE leader can make all the difference.
The first thing we look for and expect out of our leaders is that they COMMIT
Here's the second expectation
Everything that we do in our ministry we run out of small groups, so that means that every leader is directly involved with a group of 6 - 10 students. If the leader isn't there, then the group suffers. So, we require that leader are CONSISTENTLY there.
What we have found is that the small IS the big.
When, as a leader, you are there every single week ...
For the good night and for the bad nights ...
For the mundane things and the exciting things ...
You build up deep trust with those students
And then? On a night that you least expect it;
That kid pulls back the curtain and shows you a window to their soul.
They don't do that if you are not consistently there
You don't get to see that if you are not consistently there
The first thing we look for and expect out of our leaders is that they COMMIT
Here's the second expectation
CONSISTENT
Everything that we do in our ministry we run out of small groups, so that means that every leader is directly involved with a group of 6 - 10 students. If the leader isn't there, then the group suffers. So, we require that leader are CONSISTENTLY there.
What we have found is that the small IS the big.
When, as a leader, you are there every single week ...
For the good night and for the bad nights ...
For the mundane things and the exciting things ...
You build up deep trust with those students
And then? On a night that you least expect it;
That kid pulls back the curtain and shows you a window to their soul.
They don't do that if you are not consistently there
You don't get to see that if you are not consistently there
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
Free Conference for Family Ministry. You Don't Even Need to Rent a Van!
The Orange Tour, a one day seminar based on Reggie Joiner's book, is a great resource for family ministry. But if you're like me and don't have the finances right now to catch every seminar you'd like to, then they are here to help. The folks at Orange streamed the entire seminar for free last week, and now this week they have posted the three videos online. Each one is about an hour each. Grab your volunteers, your children's pastor, whoever, and watch them. But be ready, each video is packed full of info, so take it slow and talk it out.
Here's the link:
http://www.whatisorange.org/orangetouronline
Here's the link:
http://www.whatisorange.org/orangetouronline
Great Insights for Anyone Who Teaches Students
Here is a summarized list of teaching tips. It came from the Orange Leaders blog, who got it from Made to Stick by Chip and Dan Heath. Really good stuff:
TOP TEN list of IDEAS worth REMEMBERING
1. Find the core—“There has to be message triage. If you say three things, you don’t say anything.”
2. The power of analogies—substitute something familiar to accelerate learning about something difficult.
3. Grab their attention– break a predictable pattern, plan an interesting surprise or give them a mystery to solve.
4. The Curse of Knowledge makes it hard for us to remember what it’s like not to know something.
5. Create a common language by providing a concrete experience that puts everyone in the same playing field.
6. Details are important because they boost the credibility of what you’re trying to say.
7. Context matters because the easiest way to make people care is to show the relationship between something they don’t yet care
about and something they do.
8. Don’t focus on the features; stress the tangible benefits—what’s in it for them right now.
9. Stories are powerful “edutainment” because they provide knowledge on how to act and motivation to take action.
10. If you get stuck on how to make your message really stick, look around and learn from one that’s not only stuck but is spreading.
TOP TEN list of IDEAS worth REMEMBERING
1. Find the core—“There has to be message triage. If you say three things, you don’t say anything.”
2. The power of analogies—substitute something familiar to accelerate learning about something difficult.
3. Grab their attention– break a predictable pattern, plan an interesting surprise or give them a mystery to solve.
4. The Curse of Knowledge makes it hard for us to remember what it’s like not to know something.
5. Create a common language by providing a concrete experience that puts everyone in the same playing field.
6. Details are important because they boost the credibility of what you’re trying to say.
7. Context matters because the easiest way to make people care is to show the relationship between something they don’t yet care
about and something they do.
8. Don’t focus on the features; stress the tangible benefits—what’s in it for them right now.
9. Stories are powerful “edutainment” because they provide knowledge on how to act and motivation to take action.
10. If you get stuck on how to make your message really stick, look around and learn from one that’s not only stuck but is spreading.
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
One - Commit
We believe that ONE leader can make all the difference
So, what are the characteristics that we look for in our leaders?
We describe it with the four C's.
Here's the first one:
We ask our leader to commit to this ministry; that is that they will make it a priority. The reality is that there are some nights when it is really easy to come to our ministry, it's easy to pour yourself out, you want to be there.
However, there are also those nights when this is that last place that you want to be. The day was hard, the week has been hard, and you wonder if you even have anything to pour out.
We ask our leaders to commit to being here on those easy days ... and on the hard days. To commit themselves fully to the work that God has set before them; trusting Him on the good & easy days to be at work in them and through them. And trusting Him on the hard & round days to be at work in them and through them.
So, what are the characteristics that we look for in our leaders?
We describe it with the four C's.
Here's the first one:
COMMIT
We ask our leader to commit to this ministry; that is that they will make it a priority. The reality is that there are some nights when it is really easy to come to our ministry, it's easy to pour yourself out, you want to be there.
However, there are also those nights when this is that last place that you want to be. The day was hard, the week has been hard, and you wonder if you even have anything to pour out.
COMMIT
We ask our leaders to commit to being here on those easy days ... and on the hard days. To commit themselves fully to the work that God has set before them; trusting Him on the good & easy days to be at work in them and through them. And trusting Him on the hard & round days to be at work in them and through them.
Peace Zones: When Comfort Just Isn't Enough
May God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ give you grace and peace.
Romans 1:7b (NLT)
I have a confession to make. I'm a sucker for anything that helps me feel comfortable. I load up my snack cabinet with comfort foods (especially Oreos & Pop Tarts!), carry a water bottle at all times to avoid the slightest hint of thirst, wear sweat pants around the house as much as possible and position the driver's seat perfectly every time I jump in the car. At church, I have to be perfectly settled into my seat before I feel I can really focus on the speaker.
I tend to defend my comfort zones fiercely. Sometimes I see people across the room that I know I should talk to and chicken out because the topic they'll probably bring up might make me feel uncomfortable. Sometimes I avoid watching the news if I think it might make me feel uneasy. I've even stopped reading convicting passages in the Bible before because it made me realize I was trying to control my life rather than surrendering control to Jesus.
Now please understand, I'm not saying that comfort is always bad. After all, comfort helps us stay focused and rest well, which God commands us to do in order to stay filled. But the last couple years, my relationship with my comfort zones has become kind of a love-hate relationship. I love avoiding pain and discomfort (which isn't always possible!), but I hate what's often still missing when I'm feeling comfortable or even comforted: PEACE. I've realized that human answers and physical comforts don't bring peace. By peace, I'm not talking about the absence of wars, pain or discomfort. I'm talking about the spirit of calmness and trust God gives us despite our difficult circumstances, a peace that defies human logic and doesn't make sense when we're feeling it.
As a pastor, it can be easy to slip into the trap of asking God to remove discomfort and pain from students' lives. Sure it's great to pray for better circumstances and healing, but what's more important is asking for God to give them peace regardless of their circumstances. Maybe that's why Paul began every one of his 13 letters asking God to give his readers peace. Paul didn't instruct the churches to stay comfortable. It would have been impossible to live one's faith boldly in such hostile environments and remain in one's comfort zone. But he did ask God to give them peace to help them endure persecution and share the gospel. Paul realized that Jesus loves to speak to us during those times we're feeling least comfortable, and he didn't want anyone to miss hearing Jesus' voice just because things weren't working out as planned.
So the choice is ours. Will we cling to our comfort zones or ask God to expand our peace zones? I don't know about you, but I'd much rather seek peace everywhere I go than miss out on opportunities to grow while cowering in my comfort zone. I guess I'll have to think about that as I head home to slip into my sweatpants. :)
Making Changes and Blaming God
I threw the blame at God, and it wasn't fair. It just wasn't. I would feel like it was time to move on, to make a change in a program, to do something different, and I would use God as my reason. I so desparately wanted to know God, and to love God, and to be in His hands. I really did, I promise. But sometimes my understanding of God put me in a spot to say things that were unfair.
Here's a prime example. Over the last 20 years, I've worked at three different churches. I was at my first one in Welcome, NC for 2 1/2 years. I was at my second one in Schaumburg, IL for 6 years. I've been here at this church in Shelbyville, IN for almost 10 years. When I started sensing that things were not going well with our spot in NC, we prayed about it, and felt like it was best if we left, for a host of reasons. So, we prayerfully began looking and contacting churches, eventually were offered a job in Chicago, and we took it. When we explained to our students why we were leaving, we gently tried to help them see that God was moving us on, that He was good, and it would all be okay. We didn't want to leave them, but we needed to be obedient, and because God was clearly telling us to go, we were going to listen and go.
When we left Chicago, it was a little different. We weren't looking to leave at that time, but through a series of events, we were contacted by a church we had applied to almost a year earlier, and after several meetings, felt like we should go. We gave our students the same answer. We love you guys, we aren't sure why God is calling us on, but we feel like it's what we are supposed to do, and so we are leaving. God will take care of us and you. It will all be alright.
And honestly, it has. One of my former students replaced me in NC and has done an AMAZING job at the church. (Go Jon Goodman!) The church in Schaumburg eventually hired a guy, Nat Bodham, who is one of the greatest gifts to that church ever. We love where we are now, and have been blessed beyond words by being here. So, what's the issue?
As I've thought through all of this, and gotten to know God better, I have realized I used God as my scapegoat. I do think He opened doors for us to go, and He blessed the churches when we left. Out of His grace. But, we moved predominantly because we wanted to. We loved our kids, but other issues were moving us on. The moves were good and healthy, and for various reasons necessary. But I wasn't completely honest with people. I simply dumped the blame on God. And God, in His magnificent silence and grace, took the blow for me.
I've learned that God blesses us when we are obedient, and in His power gives us choices. We could have stayed in NC and toughed it out. God would have blessed us. We could have stayed in Chicago. God would have blessed us. We had options and choices before us. God wasn't forcing our hand. But we acted and spoke like He was.
Sometimes, God does command us to go, to move, to run, to do something, and we are perfectly legit if we call it what it is. But WAY too often, we use the "God's call on my life" as a convenient excuse and cover story. Honestly, we need to stop. It doesn't represent God honestly, and often can cause a student to see God as cruel in what He is doing. We save our reputation, and smear God's. I don't think it's supposed to work that way, is it? Let's be honest about the "Why?" questions as much as we can appropriately be, and let's let God off the hook for our choices. Just a thought.
Here's a prime example. Over the last 20 years, I've worked at three different churches. I was at my first one in Welcome, NC for 2 1/2 years. I was at my second one in Schaumburg, IL for 6 years. I've been here at this church in Shelbyville, IN for almost 10 years. When I started sensing that things were not going well with our spot in NC, we prayed about it, and felt like it was best if we left, for a host of reasons. So, we prayerfully began looking and contacting churches, eventually were offered a job in Chicago, and we took it. When we explained to our students why we were leaving, we gently tried to help them see that God was moving us on, that He was good, and it would all be okay. We didn't want to leave them, but we needed to be obedient, and because God was clearly telling us to go, we were going to listen and go.
When we left Chicago, it was a little different. We weren't looking to leave at that time, but through a series of events, we were contacted by a church we had applied to almost a year earlier, and after several meetings, felt like we should go. We gave our students the same answer. We love you guys, we aren't sure why God is calling us on, but we feel like it's what we are supposed to do, and so we are leaving. God will take care of us and you. It will all be alright.
And honestly, it has. One of my former students replaced me in NC and has done an AMAZING job at the church. (Go Jon Goodman!) The church in Schaumburg eventually hired a guy, Nat Bodham, who is one of the greatest gifts to that church ever. We love where we are now, and have been blessed beyond words by being here. So, what's the issue?
As I've thought through all of this, and gotten to know God better, I have realized I used God as my scapegoat. I do think He opened doors for us to go, and He blessed the churches when we left. Out of His grace. But, we moved predominantly because we wanted to. We loved our kids, but other issues were moving us on. The moves were good and healthy, and for various reasons necessary. But I wasn't completely honest with people. I simply dumped the blame on God. And God, in His magnificent silence and grace, took the blow for me.
I've learned that God blesses us when we are obedient, and in His power gives us choices. We could have stayed in NC and toughed it out. God would have blessed us. We could have stayed in Chicago. God would have blessed us. We had options and choices before us. God wasn't forcing our hand. But we acted and spoke like He was.
Sometimes, God does command us to go, to move, to run, to do something, and we are perfectly legit if we call it what it is. But WAY too often, we use the "God's call on my life" as a convenient excuse and cover story. Honestly, we need to stop. It doesn't represent God honestly, and often can cause a student to see God as cruel in what He is doing. We save our reputation, and smear God's. I don't think it's supposed to work that way, is it? Let's be honest about the "Why?" questions as much as we can appropriately be, and let's let God off the hook for our choices. Just a thought.
Monday, February 21, 2011
One Leader Can Make all the difference
We loved you so much that we shared with you not only the gospel, but our very lives. 1 Thessalonians 2:8
This is one of the key verses for our ministry.
It is around this verse that we build our leadership team.
We believe that life change happens best when a committed leader invests themselves into the lives of students;
Sharing with that student their life and their love
As well as sharing with that student the life and love of Jesus.
How big of an impact can one leader make?
Check out Colossians 1 (and specifically verses 7 & 8)
Paul is speaking to these believers, these followers of Christ;
And it appears that he gives credit for this mainly to one guy ... Epaphras
One man ...
A normal guy ...
Seemingly average ...
... and yet he impacts an entire congregation; even an entire city.
ONE leader can make all the difference
Over the next few posts I'll share with you the Characteristics that we look for and expect in and from our leaders.
How to Encourage Parents
When I'm speaking to parents, one of the things I have learned over the years is to always, always remind them of what they are doing right. The power of telling a mom, dad, or grandma that they are doing a good job is amazing. Even when a parent is struggling, or when they are not teaching Biblical values intentionally, I try to find a way to tell them what I see good in their kid, and encourage them in that area.
One, it helps them remember that they aren't failing. Every parent is convinced they are failing in some part of their teens life. It's inevitable. Even your "great" families feel like they are blowing it somewhere. I often do as a parent, and have always found that others struggle there as well.
Two, it points them to Jesus. It's a great way to say "Hey, you are doing such a good job of teaching honesty in your son. It shows in how he talks to all of us around here at the youth group. It really models Jesus for him when you do that. Great job!"
Three, it shows you are on their side and you care. Parent's deal with so much of culture undermining them, and to have a youth pastor on their side, even if they don't necessarily follow Christ, is huge. When we encourage them, it shows we know their kid, care about them, and care about the family.
Four, it's fun. Giving encouragement is speaking God's words into someones life. The more you do it, the more fun it becomes. Sometimes, it's a bit of a game trying to find what to encourage. You know the kids I'm talking about. But, it's always there. Always.
Don't underestimate the power of your words in a parent's life.
One, it helps them remember that they aren't failing. Every parent is convinced they are failing in some part of their teens life. It's inevitable. Even your "great" families feel like they are blowing it somewhere. I often do as a parent, and have always found that others struggle there as well.
Two, it points them to Jesus. It's a great way to say "Hey, you are doing such a good job of teaching honesty in your son. It shows in how he talks to all of us around here at the youth group. It really models Jesus for him when you do that. Great job!"
Three, it shows you are on their side and you care. Parent's deal with so much of culture undermining them, and to have a youth pastor on their side, even if they don't necessarily follow Christ, is huge. When we encourage them, it shows we know their kid, care about them, and care about the family.
Four, it's fun. Giving encouragement is speaking God's words into someones life. The more you do it, the more fun it becomes. Sometimes, it's a bit of a game trying to find what to encourage. You know the kids I'm talking about. But, it's always there. Always.
Don't underestimate the power of your words in a parent's life.
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