Making Changes and Blaming God

I threw the blame at God, and it wasn't fair.  It just wasn't.  I would feel like it was time to move on, to make a change in a program, to do something different, and I would use God as my reason.  I so desparately wanted to know God, and to love God, and to be in His hands.  I really did, I promise.  But sometimes my understanding of God put me in a spot to say things that were unfair.

Here's a prime example.  Over the last 20 years, I've worked at three different churches.  I was at my first one in Welcome, NC for 2 1/2 years.  I was at my second one in Schaumburg, IL for 6 years.  I've been here at this church in Shelbyville, IN for almost 10 years.  When I started sensing that things were not going well with our spot in NC, we prayed about it, and felt like it was best if we left, for a host of reasons.  So, we prayerfully began looking and contacting churches, eventually were offered a job in Chicago, and we took it.  When we explained to our students why we were leaving, we gently tried to help them see that God was moving us on, that He was good, and it would all be okay.  We didn't want to leave them, but we needed to be obedient, and because God was clearly telling us to go, we were going to listen and go.

When we left Chicago, it was a little different.  We weren't looking to leave at that time, but through a series of events, we were contacted by a church we had applied to almost a year earlier, and after several meetings, felt like we should go.  We gave our students the same answer.  We love you guys, we aren't sure why God is calling us on, but we feel like it's what we are supposed to do, and so we are leaving.  God will take care of us and you.  It will all be alright.

And honestly, it has.  One of my former students replaced me in NC and has done an AMAZING job at the church. (Go Jon Goodman!)  The church in Schaumburg eventually hired a guy, Nat Bodham, who is one of the greatest gifts to that church ever.  We love where we are now, and have been blessed beyond words by being here.  So, what's the issue?

As I've thought through all of this, and gotten to know God better, I have realized I used God as my scapegoat.  I do think He opened doors for us to go, and He blessed the churches when we left.  Out of His grace.  But, we moved predominantly because we wanted to.  We loved our kids, but other issues were moving us on.  The moves were good and healthy, and for various reasons necessary.  But I wasn't completely honest with people.  I simply dumped the blame on God.  And God, in His magnificent silence and grace, took the blow for me.

I've learned that God blesses us when we are obedient, and in His power gives us choices.  We could have stayed in NC and toughed it out.  God would have blessed us.  We could have stayed in Chicago.  God would have blessed us.  We had options and choices before us.  God wasn't forcing our hand.  But we acted and spoke like He was.

Sometimes, God does command us to go, to move, to run, to do something, and we are perfectly legit if we call it what it is.  But WAY too often, we use the "God's call on my life" as a convenient excuse and cover story.  Honestly, we need to stop.  It doesn't represent God honestly, and often can cause a student to see God as cruel in what He is doing.  We save our reputation, and smear God's.  I don't think it's supposed to work that way, is it?  Let's be honest about the "Why?" questions as much as we can appropriately be, and let's let God off the hook for our choices.  Just a thought.